We’re Not in Leinster Anymore, Are We?

A spaceman came travelling on his ship from afar, was light years of time since his mission did start, and over a village he halted: “Who’s Kilkenny playing in the Leinster final on Sunday?’

Imagine his spaceman-shock when he was told it was Wexford in the final, not Kilkenny. And he nearly put the spaceship in the hedge when he heard they were playing Galway. It’s been light years since he was here, and you see no-one told him Galway’s not in Connacht anymore. Well it is, but it isn’t if you know what we mean. It’s a bit like Dorothy and Toto in the Wizard of Oz.

Your spaceman’s sure Joe Canning should have won a couple of All Ireland’s by now. Has he not? And as for Davy Fitz managing Wexford? It’s as if Hal has taken control of the spaceship and it’s 2001 A Space Odyssey all over again. “Sure the last time I was home there was talk of him going to manage Waterford.”

Sez he: “Cork and Tipp in the Munster hurling Final?” By way of statement more than question. Nope, Tipp’s playing Westmeath tomorrow in the qualifiers. Qualifiers? What are they? And Westmeath? At this stage our spaceman thinks he’s lost the plot or something passing Uranus.

Jackie Tyrrell’s in the Irish Times today lauding Davy Fitz’s new system. Jackie reckons it’s new to hurling the way he’s using his sweeper as a springboard for attack. A sweeper played properly always gives the other players the safety to attack but maybe it’s particularly suited to this group of players. Will it be enough to challenge a resurgent Galway? If we knew that we’d be a time traveller, just like our spaceman.

And the final straw? “Down and Tyrone in an Ulster football final? Not about time this boys gave the likes of Donegal or Monaghan a chance?” Time to get back in the Spacecraft lad, they did but you just weren’t around to see it.

“Next you’ll be telling me Jim McGuinness has signed for a Chinese soccer club,” he muttered, boosting the rockets and heading for the Hills.